Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.

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(251): View more from Alabama

About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way

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(410): View more from Maryland

operation have a gay friend backfired

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.

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(207): View more from Maine

He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.

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(515): View more from Iowa

oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer

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(678): View more from Georgia

There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year

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(224): View more from Illinois

Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.

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