fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
