Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
