I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
