It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
