In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Couch. On fire.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
