singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
