yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
