if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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