You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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