Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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