i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
