My sheets look like a crime scene.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
