Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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