Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Sorry about my life...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
