Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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