i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
