come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
