There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
