yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
