You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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