You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
