i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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