i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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