you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize