i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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