it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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