worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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