hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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