apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
