i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
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You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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