The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just googled if crying burns calories
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
