that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
