i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
