party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
