Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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