Whod you bang
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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