At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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