on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
