Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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