so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
