She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
