Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
