I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
