i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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