Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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