Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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