i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
