So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
