clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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