what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
