1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
