What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
