its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
