well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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