Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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