If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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