but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
