Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
smell my finger.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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