My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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