There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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