so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so let's talk penis.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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