haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
