I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
