i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just google imaged poop.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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