Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
