Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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