The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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