I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
