Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
